dreams

i told myself i would write this down before i forgot...

dreams are strange.
my unconscious tends to come out in them a lot.
things i thought were over appear fresh in my dreams.

i dreamt of him last night.
it was as if things had never changed.
the setting was beautiful.
we were by a lake that would reflect our image as if we were staring into a
mm ii rr rr oo rr.
he held me. he was so warm.
i felt loved.
we walked around the lake as if nothing could go wrong.
things were so nice.
i found a giant four leaf clover.
we fought over who would keep it.
i ended up winning, only because he picked it and gave it to me.
we continued walking...then i saw her
the most e v i l person i have personally ever known.
she came in and ruined everything.
i could see it in his eyes that he wanted her just as much as he wanted me.
it was different though, i could see the pity he had for her in his eyes.
he wanted to help her.
i told him that he couldn't have everything he wanted.
then he disappeared...
i was left alone with her.

after that moment i kept waking up. i didn't want to face any of it.
if only things could be as they once were, but they never will be.
dreams...
these dreams need to go away.
there is no need to be reliving what happened in the past.
it could be my intuition or hope that something is going to happen.

going home this weekend really messed with my mind.
i brought a lot of memories back to sb with me.