attempt

happiness.
what a strange feeling. i honestly forgot how great it feels. it comes and goes. this is a different happiness that you don't find everyday. i forgot how unexpected it was.
when i talk to him i get nervous, i feel shy, anxious...the list can honestly go on. where did this come from. i haven't known him for long, but for some reason i feel like the feelings are mutual.

"this can be good" is what my friend says.

i believe it can be.
i just worry that i'm getting ahead of myself.
i guess only time will tell.

the pain of heartbreak is something i don't want to experience again. happiness on the other hand i want to feel that day and night.
i want it to be everywhere around me. i want tears to be a thing of the past.
i don't want to feel the pain i have felt before, but instead the love that i know exists.
yes, i am a romantic. i try to fight it, i always have.
this time i will be different. i have to allow myself to just let things happen and not think about them.
i will hold my breath and jump in.