tiny city by the ocean

i miss waking up in a dream

it was always s u m m e r

with a winter b r     e        e            z              e

the crashing waves would only be silenced

by the loud music and the many voices

but on quiet nights

the hourly bells would tower over them

those dreams were the best

writing little bits and pieces of my mind again

silence

i have been stuck in my thoughts
but they are no where to be found
i do not write them down
they are my secrets
but secrets that i may forget
possibly because i don't want to remember
good bad sad mad happy jokes future past...
different
they're always different thoughts
wondering around without anywhere to go
i'm not sure why i keep them in
sometimes i'm afraid that i don't share them enough
and i begin to fade away from people

are my thoughts keeping me from who i am?

where has the time gone

dear blog,

i haven't seen you in months

life has been very busy and going pretty well

yet here i am again

always returning to you because i long to write

write in a way that i can express myself and be alright

you are a part of my ying yang blogs on blogspot

you are open, while the other is not

strange that i like you more

perhaps it's because i've had you longer

i haven't forgotten about you

and never will

on blog we need to spend more time together

a lot has happened since the last time i wrote in you

let's catch up after finals

me

a new school year is about to begin
i'm not sure if i'm ready yet
4th year..the final year of my undergraduate career
i'm scared and excited
i still the 1st year in me
unaware of what is to come
being fond of the same things

i stand still while the world moves

you are when i hurt
you are my pain
sadness in words
it never seems to go away

i don't understand why i don't understand people
or is it that they just don't understand me?
i feel insecure about myself as it is
i don't speak very much because i know i can be socially awkward
i'm honest, or at least i try really hard to be
i have a lot of things that run in my head
but i know/try not to say them because i don't want to hurt people's feelings
not that i'm doing it intentionally
it's just what i observe and read others
it's hard not to respond honestly when a friend wants to know what you think

i don't understand friendships
but i still have hope that i someday will
there are few that give me hope
i'm sensitive about friendships
because it's hard to really believe in them
and at times
when i do
i learn to find out they were never real
i get hurt

yes
i have my partner
my love
but even he can't fill this emptiness