i don't understand why i don't understand people
or is it that they just don't understand me?
i feel insecure about myself as it is
i don't speak very much because i know i can be socially awkward
i'm honest, or at least i try really hard to be
i have a lot of things that run in my head
but i know/try not to say them because i don't want to hurt people's feelings
not that i'm doing it intentionally
it's just what i observe and read others
it's hard not to respond honestly when a friend wants to know what you think

i don't understand friendships
but i still have hope that i someday will
there are few that give me hope
i'm sensitive about friendships
because it's hard to really believe in them
and at times
when i do
i learn to find out they were never real
i get hurt

yes
i have my partner
my love
but even he can't fill this emptiness