blue

falling into a darkness

swirls of smoke covering the air

where have i gone?

where am i now?

i close my eyes

smoke turns to clouds

full of life

lifting me

high above

into the world in which i belong

sadly it was all a dream

why do i feel empty?
my mind is blank...
emotions...? not sure where they are
am i feeling disempowered?
edward always does this. he thinks he knows womyn better than actual womyn.
i'm annoyed and cant stop thinking about it.
i cant to disappear again.

nothing new

decided not to run

don't make assumptions

i will not nominate myself

be

i learn something new/different/similar every once in a while
friends are amazing
they make me feel safe and secure when they are pure at heart
thank you for being yourself
being is something that reminds me of the beatles
"let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be, i whisper words of wisdom, let it be..."
something that many people forget of is to let themselves be
don't let the things around you control or influence you in a bad way
let yourself be and not take things so literally
stay true to yourself
love yourself
stay centered
don't be consumed by things that are merely guidelines or symbols

secrets...

in my mind

let me know when it's time to wake up

i don't want to wake up from this dream, this world you have taken me to

i disappear with you into a realm of love

a love that is innocent

you take me back in time emit ni kcab

i feel child-like, in a la la land of h-a-p-p-y-n-e-s-s

no worries, no fear, only us two trying to figure this thing called life together

helping me       u       

                       j        m

                                    p into the ocean by grabbing my hand and saying it's all ok

we sink into the abyss that no on else knows

kiss me. hold me. don't let go. let the ocean take us where it will.

we are together and that's all that matters.

thoughts

i am happy
but there are things that continue to bother me
things that make me think and wish things were different
i question what goes on in my life
i question the people i know
things have changed
times have changed
not sure who my friends are anymore
in better words who are still my friends
of course i have other worries, but i don't want to get into it


current thoughts:
close my blog, as in make private
empty out (or delete) twitter, facebook, myspace
allow myself to let go of people


i'm not secluding or closing myself (i wouldn't allow myself to do that), as i continue in my life journey i learn more about myself
i am somewhat of a social person (still don't quite understand it), but i continue to end up caring too much for those i get close to


getting tired can't finish this entry