never imagined

happyness fills my lungs with each breath

i melt with every touch

my love

sweet little trip

going away to santa barbara
playing the fray
i'm losing myself in a swirl of happyness
will it ever stop?
i hope not.
i don't want to lose this again.
love.

this time

i'm not quite sure what is happening
i have had time to process this now and still can't
the love, it's obviously there
no doubt about it

he's himself and i'm myself
it's really as if things never changed, yet they have in so many ways
we're both taking this one step at a time
we've only barely touched upon the outer layer of who we are
there are many things he doesn't know about me and many that i don't know about him
only time will tell of what will happen between us
whether it be closure, a friendship or more
i have no expectations, which is how i usually think of things
no need to get ahead of myself when nothing is certain

first thoughts...

red alert: unexpectedness
going to pass out and die
g o i n g t o p a s s o u t a n d d i e
how could you do this to me now?
i'm finally recovering and you return
i can't say i'm not surprised


i drew you to me
i'm mad at myself for bringing this upon myself in the past week


it's been a week since i thought of you
it's been a week since i found you
it's been a week since i put the p
                                                    i       e  c
                                                        e   
                                                                s 
                                                                   together


don't do this
not now

chai latte?

rosy pink lips

they have nowhere to go
lipstick falling onto a cup of chai
hypnotizing smell
swirls of love going up away into the air
disappearing from existence
i sit here wonder about the one that will
taste. smell. love. the things that i adore.
i get so lost sometimes...

wondering thoughts

te veo
te quiero

kiss kiss kiss

up my back
tenderness in your lips
passion is what you hold inside
show me the things you never dared to do
let go of it all
love

mariposa

i've started to write my thoughts down.
they're tangled up in a world of day dreams.
lost within the boundaries of my own mind.
inner most feelings.
i'm healing.


"twist and turns.
things were upside down.
it's time to think and grow.
expanding from left to right.
going way up high then way down low.
don't let people stop what is being written in time.
they don't know what goes on in my mind.
they can't read me how i can read them.
stop.
the flow has been disrupted.
time is going out of control.
thoughts are scrambling.
emotions...blank...no comment?
empty.
this hollow heart still beats.
echos ringing.
echos falling.
echos in every breath i take.
thum
     thu
         m
                  th
                        um
                                th
                                  u
                                     m"


"let me write.
fuzziness of white thickening my vision.
darkness falling down.
sophicating from within.
blur...this is a blur.
closing when trying to open wide.
wide enough to see it all.
every color detail of texture.
sinking up at time moves upside down, turn around and backwards.
splashing into air with the smell of rain.
cleaning the way.
cleaning the toxic.
eyes of mine.
see yourself sending messages to the mind.
wondering how to expand it.
coughing up smoke from the toxic feeding in through you.
open. shut. open.
in. out. in. out...
time is still as ink creates.
a beginning to a world of difference.
emotions touching pages, touching lives.
what creates can also destroy.
pain made that doesn't go away.
let me down in my world of sorrow.
time took you away.
happyness was clear as the days we spend in our rain drop.
let me kiss those lips.
goodbye."