grr at myself

why do i look at pictures i know make my heart sink?
it's hard not to wonder how things could have been
i guess it's one of those things that won't go away for a while
great memories don't disappear.

these eyes

droopy

         tired

             sore

needed:

      relaxation

                sleep

                    close      

                 breathe

           listen

      open

look

the world is spinning

               but time is stopping

                        everyone freezes

          take a step into heaven

falling from a cloud

drop

drop


drop

 

 






splash


body dripping

floating

rising up up up above

above the smoke

above the clouds

free

kellum

don't lift me up
with your strong intent on dropping me back down
are you like this?
afraid to be yourself

and if you somehow get through all of this
without hating yourself, for all of this
just know that i will hate you enough
for the both of us

spent that night alone
the first in a long time
forgotten all the loneliness and darkness in my life
you lost a friend the day that you let go
to drown in the sea of regret and no one knows

that i'm alone and i
can't blame anyone but you
self loathing once filled me but now i know the truth

spent that night alone
the first in a long time
forgotten all the loneliness and darkness in my life
you lost a friend the day that you let go
to drown in the sea of regret and no one knows

spent that night alone
the first in a long time
forgotten all the loneliness and darkness in my life
you lost a friend the day that you let go
to drown in the sea of regret and no one knows

by bayside

a friend gave me this song
it's amazing when people understand how you feel
i appreciate the human mind
i love the human heart
thank you

chuck

missed shout out loud bingo
i think i made a sexy guy

suffocating

i feel myself drowning with every breath i try to take
my words are drowning
i'm forcing myself to swallow them whole
burning my throat
burning my lungs
burning my soul
i'm choking
let me go
no one should hold me down
no one should instill this f o r c e
this p o w e r over me
i'm not weak
i stand tall for myself
it only gets harder when someone else has an advantage
a p r i v i l e g e

try to drown my words
choke me with all your might
words...
they have a way of making themselves known
i will take a breath
i will spit
my words..they will be heard

chameleon

changing in front of my eyes
no longer warm but cold and blue
its something i see
wishing everyone could see
the change that is skin deep
but not as easily seen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
jumpy perky happy
thoughts that may possibly cross your mind
this is different
not a feeling
a change needed to move forward
even if only for a few hours
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
if only you would stop
and let them see who i see
don't be insecure
tracings through your tough words
i whisper in my mind