despertó mi corazon

abri mis ojos
se lo que quiero hacer
te quiero
te amo
espero que siempre estes con migo

mi arte

my bunny

you were supposed to come this weekend with my mom
you were my soft and chubby little friend
i will never forget the times you would stand on your little paws when you wanted a treat
or how you ran around my legs when you were happy
you always made me laugh every time you humped your stuffed animal
you were always there to hug when i was sad
i'm going to miss you
love you forever
you're always in my heart

yet again....

breathe
the air is so thick,
it's making it harder to breathe.
let me breathe.
you're overwhelming,
you're presence...painfully pleasurable,
filling my lungs with intoxicating clouds,
growing with every breath,
taking over...
your finger tips made my world shake,
they made me want to hide with a smile,
childish flirt filled with fear,
filled with tension.
shaking...shaking...destroying
the earthquake only growing as you get closer.
holding me with no touch.
waiting...waiting for you to embrace me,
grab me tightly and not let me go.
kiss me.
i know you want to kiss me...just as badly as i want to kiss you.
a kiss..so simple yet like breathing you made it hard.
lips like yours will not be mine,
your sweet scent gone,
your warm arms embrace disappear.
they don't exist with me,
they belong to another.
one, two, three and almost a fourth kiss...belonging to her.

drawing again...

i started drawing again and have decided to major in art studio
it makes me happy and allows me to express myself
i'm rusty, but i have been working on it
these are the few things that i have drawn in my sketch book (in order)

in the clouds...slowing down the leaves

falling...

falling.......

falling..upside down

light and thin

to the stars on the ground

with crunchy skin

piece by peace

disappearing through sound

liquid flame

raw heat bursts from your flames

jealousy burning with cumulative lies
you are strong
rough
controlling
and destructive
yet undeniably beautiful
you were always losing control
battling for every breath
growing by blazing others
living in consequence of damage
hiding the truth
your flame cannot cover impoverished pain

tenacious waves break against cliffs
upsetting tears slipping through earth
irrigation extending from deep abyss and beyond the grounds of land
yearning to heal your frantic troubled flare
fear does not fill a drop
growth only draws me closer
heaven weeping
breathe
be calm
be at peace

hault

wonderful brick wall

stop the lies.

stop the jealousy.
stop the justification.
even though i don't want to, i can't help but see right through you.
be honest.
don't force me to climb over you.
you present a difficulty that needs to end.
it drains me. tires me.
i don't understand why you want to be everything, try to be everything.
your colors are beautiful as they are.
why are you trying so hard to impress others?
why do you compete when there is no one competing against you?
be yourself.

sometimes i wish i couldn't read people so well.
it's a part of me that at times i wish i could change, but in the end it only helps me understand others.
even if it involves understanding parts of them i don't want to see.

there are many things i haven't shared.
many things no one knows about me.
you think you know me.
stop.
you don't know what goes on in my mind.
you don't know my emotions.
you don't know my experiences.
don't tell me what is good for me.
don't tell me what i see.
don't tell me what i feel.
don't tell me about my mind.

leave it.
everyone thinks differently.
we all have our own beliefs.

consistency

i'm finally feeling like myself again
the past year i was mess and hardly felt like myself
i will move forward this year with new goals that i will achieve
focus on myself
learn about myself
try to stop worrying about others more than i do about myself
it's my life and i don't know when my next one will be
might as well make the best of this one

blogging must become a consistent thing
i have to stop moving around so much on nothingness
focus, focus, focus
i do not need pills

...15 page paper